Thursday

# 24

Dear 2009,

Thanks for being a pretty awesome year. I wasted a majority of you on the Internets and I vow not to treat 2010 with such disrespect. You gave me lots of laughs and gas. You taught me that it is ok to love and be loved. You helped me discover that I rather enjoy cussing and cooking. You showed me how to get out of my comfort zone and how to get more than my big toe wet. You opened my eyes to the beauty of waking up before dawn. You broadened my horizons and opened my legs. You made my family grow. You showed me how to be ok with myself and taught me that it's ok to take 3 shits a day. You also taught me that life is precious and I may as well enjoy being in debt. For all these things and more I thank you and send you away with warm thoughts and welcome 2010 with open arms.


Farewell my dear friend,


RBabe




PS Bloody Poop is not funny.


PPS Tell 2010 that Jenny does not want anymore bloody poop.

Wednesday

# 23

Twenty Ten.

It seems weird, and makes me feel fucking old, that just 10 ten years ago people were all freaked the hell out about Y2k. I remember my parents wouldn't let me leave their side. Makes me think of just how lame that would've been... Mass chaos and I'd be stuck.

It's funny how my brain works. I can remember the lameness of ringing in 2009, and thinking, god I hope I'm not do this all year. I can vaguely remember 2008; house party, board games... yawn, or was that 2007. See. And I can remember being 16 ten years ago about to have a nicotine fit and jonesin for a fix. The years between are kinda lost. I'm pretty sure I was passed out on some one's bathroom floor before the clock stuck 10. That was my life, then.
My life is totally different today, you* might say I've done a 360. As the new year approaches I know we all can't help but reflect on the past and look to the future full of hope and empty promises to ourselves. We remember the resolutions we had last year and the year before and the year before because they're all the same and they never get resolved.

Last year my resolution was not to have any resolutions. It worked.

In order not to be a lazy bum I am going to set some goals for myself. Sure, there's the weight thing and the saving money thing and the be more organized thing but I have some more creative ventures on my mind. I need a little personal growth this year and I'm not talking about my ass.

What are your (anti)resolutions?
Oh hey, there's a new poll up too! Don't forget how important it is to vote...

*by you I mean an idiot. A 360? *shakes head*

Monday

# 22.5

So Christmas was great and I'm not gonna be all retarded like and spout off all the cool shit I got. Unless you want me to. My Aunt gave me a gift card to Bath & Body Works so I went there on my lunch break.

First I have to say after Christmas sales rock my mother fucking socks. I got 4 of those awesome hand soaps for $10.01. That should last me a while.

Second, Jasmine Vanilla Aromatherapy scented crap makes my panties wet. Drip. For real. I think I will go to Bath & Body Works everyday on my lunch break and use their yummy lotion and body spray. My hands smell so amazing that I didn't want to wash them after I pottied. Really. Fuck it if I peed all over them, they smell fucking great. I did however pretend to wash them, I ran the water, picked at this stupid fucking zit and turned the water off. Now I have puss and piss on my hand, but they smell fucking fantastic. To bad they don't make jasmine vanilla antibacterial gel stuff. Would it gross you out less if I just used that stuff?


If you would like to send above mentioned products I can give you my address. Or you could just go smell them yourself and not wash your hands.

# 22

The people have spoken, well 4 people have a voice...

What's on your wish list:

  • 75% Wished for a new job. How's that workin out for ya? Did ya put any action into it? Hey maybe you'll get laid off or fired for blogging around all day at work... We can only hope.

  • 25% Wanted cold hard cash. For some reason I expected you assholes to be a little more greedy.

  • 25% Wished for a sugar daddy... ummm really?

  • 25% Wanted some handmade goodies. And I totally can't blame you, that's why I made bath salts and sweets.

  • 25% Are defiantly living in a fantasy land... World Peace?? Really. How about we just opt out for better economic times... uh that's not unrealistic.

And there you have it.
Don't forget to let your voice be heard,
be American,
Vote.









Can I just say that I am so glad this Christmas is over. I had a wonderful time with family and meeting the guy's fam too. We got lots of cool shit and some much needed gift cards.

Here's to making it to pay day.

Wednesday

# 21

Christmas Eve Eve. Thank god I didn't have any money this year and was done shopping 2 weeks ago. I'm usually one of those crazy bitches running around buying more useless crap for people I only see once a year. Then I'm disappointed when my well thought out, well planned gift, obviously bought from Walgreens and quite possibly torn from a five year old's hands doesn't produce the tears of joy I was expecting.

Christmas used to be fun and I know what happened. First I found out Santa was a big fat lie. Then my greedy ass pretended to believe until I was 11 or 12 so I'd get more presents. Then my parents divorced, score two Christmas'! Wrong, my dad remarried to some gold diggin white trash bar whore and her kids got TV's & CD players. When ended up with fucking mini skirts and coloring books from Family Dollar. No more badass stockings from my mom... Then I moved out on my own and had bills.

Christmas is like sex. I used to shave, shower, brush my teeth, floss and put on clean panties... Now I roll over with morning breath, matted hair and a giant bush.

Okay, not really, but maybe you get the point.

Monday

# 20

I suck at Christmas. We opened our stockings on Friday. "Christmas is only a week away". We're good at justifying things. One of the only things I did right this year was send out cards and give my family my new address. I didn't tell them I am living with my boyfriend, and we got a new place. I'm a sinner; they probably assume that's the case. My family is so judgemental; they give Christians a bad name. That's all I'm gonna say about Jesus fearing folks.



My car was iced over this morning; it's fucking Texas for fucks sake. My heater is busted and I chose to have Christmas and pay bills rather than fix it. Thank god for seat warmers. Still, it doesn't change the fact that I freeze my vagina off every morning. It's not enough that I couldn't find my scarf and forgot my gloves, but my car feels it's completely necessary to beep at me when the temperature is below 40. The best part is the cute little snowflake that pops up... no fucking shit! It's COLD!


So at a certain point the defroster blowing air at Arctic temperatures doesn't work... My windshield is useless. I used an extra hoodie to wipe it down. I'm that crazy bitch flying down the road straining to see you. It stresses me out; so I light up. This requires me to roll down the window. It gets colder. I sit in traffic, smoke my cigarette, sit on which ever hand feels the most numb and decide it would be a great idea to ash in my lap. Fun. The light changes and I haul ass around some douche bag in a truck and in turn spill my delightfully hot coffee... I'm grateful for the warmth.


And I tell you all this to say that there's a lesson in everything. Sinners are gay, and gays are sinners. I'm not gay. No I don't think that's the point. The point is... I'm a sinner for living with my boyfriend, having pre-marital sex on Sunday morning instead of going to church, therefore God broke my heater and is punishing me by not giving me a raise. There I said it.

Friday

# 19.5

I finished his stocking last night. I picked up one of these little manikin guys and UNO. Oh and some slippers, which were way to big to fit inside*.

Don't mind me as I use this outlet to kill more time and make this a successfully unproductive day...

Go on, put the 'Ho' in Holiday with these nifty Holiday pick up lines that are sure to be a hit at any company Holiday party. That is assuming that your company is having a Holiday party; I mean after all they did freeze your salary, stop matching your 401k and stopped buying coffee for the office*.

  • Wanna stuff my stocking?
  • How about you slip down my chimney?
  • I'm gonna bring joy to your world*
  • I have a mistletoe belt.
  • I have something for you to unwrap.
  • How about some dark meat?
  • Want to deck my halls?
  • I see you when you're sleeping...
  • Is that a candy cane in your pocket? Oh shit... that's sad.
  • My vagina smells like Fabreze*

* That's what she said
* Why do I still work here?
* and by world, I mean cock.
* Yes, you're right, that has nothing to do with Christmas.

#19

It's that time again! Fuckin Funny Shit Friday.
I haven't been nearly offensive or inappropriate enough this week. So Enjoy.


Hey the cute little stick girl with a lop-sided rack read my mind... Fuck Yea!











... Wait those IS Goats?!










This is why I stopped selling Mary Kay...


Not only are the matching outfits over the top, wait wait, do their earrings match too? For the love of Allah... I mean isn't enough that they all have the same hairdresser. Miss "T" looks like she might have shit herself; she's worried because now their getup's don't match. Miss "G" is gonna get it when Miss OCD "I" sees that her G is not straight and her right arm is in the shot. COME ON Miss G, get it together! Oh right, she's a G, she can do that. I'm not even gonna touch the 50 year old Brittney Spears. Not. Gonna. Do. It.



Well kiddos, I figured I'd spare us all another holiday post (don't hold your breathe, I feel a # 19.5 comin on) Enjoy your day, do what want, wear what you want and act like no one's looking.
That is how we become famous on the Internet...

Thursday

# 18.5

Ok, so work is slow... sue me for finding awesome shit.


I plan on cutting them out, putting them on card stock, punching a hole in said card stock and tying them up with ribbon/raffia/yarn after i hap-hazardly and a bit obsessively wrap it around and around each perfectly wrapped gift. can't wait.


Just the most perfect DIY project to get me excited about wrapping. I've torn down my calendar at work and already made 2! You could use old magazines, catalogs, sheet music, old books, junk mail, etc. The possibilities are endless! Knock yourself out.


If you're a gift card givin' kind of gal like me; add a special touch and use this Gift Card Holder Pattern from Heather:


Most of all enjoy and feel free to share awesome shit with me :)

# 18

My most absolute favorite part about Christmas are stockings! I like filling them, but I also like getting all those cute little things too. This year I'm having a tough time filling my guy's. So far I've got gloves, socks, a sticker, candy and soap. I've got a book on the way from Amazon, I hope it makes it in time.

Now he's not terribly hard to buy for but I'm having a hard time finding inexpensive small items. He's into fishing, painting and computers. So I was thinking fish hooks, but I don't know what kind. Possibly some paints or brushes. As far as computers are concerned, I better not touch that with a ten foot pole.

So I'm turning to you my dear devoted followers... What are some good stocking stuffers for guys? Any ideas are welcomed. Please for the love of... I'm not to proud to beg. Oh and don't forget to stop on over to your right and vote! Go crazy, I dare ya.

Tuesday

# 17

I'm getting super excited about Christmas and super excited about giving!

What to get the Healthy Green Eco-Friendly Nut:


Organic coffee or tea. I love Starbucks and will find any reason to stop by for a latte, oh yea, and a pound of Organic Yukon Blend for my Nut. They also have Organic Chai Tea Concentrate for the non-coffee drinker.







Reusable Produce Bags from Flip & Tumble and while you're picking up a few for them head over to Real Moms Real Views and enter to win an EcoBag Kit just for you!



Or how about this
lovely little recycled Watermelon Coin Purse found at LaAlicia on Etsy.




Happy Shopping!

Friday

# 16

I'm pretending to start another diet. I say pretend because it's just some random shit I decided to do. I'm limiting my carb in-take. Nothing super crazy; I would die if I couldn't have more than 20 carbs. The funny thing is I'm not even sure how many I'm having, or what I used to have. I'm really just eliminating my bread, rice, pasta, sweets, etc... You know all that great yummy shit that I over dose on daily.


I weighed myself yesterday. As most of my loyal readers know, I just moved, but now the scale is not hiding in the closet. Stupid scale. So I stepped on it the other day, and just about fell over... it was too close to the wall. More importantly I'm fat.

I did a pseudo Weight Watchers thingy last year and lost 40 pounds, but it looks like I've put 20 of that back on. What a bummer! I knew it, I could tell... I'm slowly growing out of my pants and having to pull out those fat pants. I've been having to get different size clothes and have been in so much denial... "This brands sizes run funny" C'mon ladies we all know that one.


I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I would like it to stick and see if I can shed a few pounds. Shedding a few pounds always gets me motivated to exercise. I know working out yields even better results, but I don't want to be in fear of busting the elliptical trainer for exceeding the weight limit.



Right now (it's been a whole day & a half) I'm hooked on low carb tortillas. Ham & cheese, sausage & eggs, hell I even made a pork & feta quesadilla last night. What are some of your favorite low carb foods, recipes or anything really?? I need ideas so this ship doesn't sink so fast.

Wednesday

# 15

The polls are in, your voices have been heard... all 5 of you!

Your favorite thing about the holidays are:
  1. No Work (Sounds like my kind of people)
  2. Gifts (Giving or getting?... we'll never know)
  3. Seeing Family, Shopping/Sales & it looks like we have a Grinch lurking around these parts...

Keep your eyes peeled for another poll coming soon, I know you're bursting at the seams with anticipation...

Tuesday

# 14

I've had way too much time off from work lately... that doesn't make sense, I know. Who doesn't love time off. Anyhow, we got all moved into our new place this past weekend. We had to wade through the boxes for a couple of days, but we've finally made some progress.
Now comes the fun part, Decorating! I have such a mix of things and I'm not quite sure where to begin. Actually, we did start. Our kitchen has been decorated with some vintagesque loveliness. I just got these awesome canisters in the mail yesterday and was more than delighted to add it to the collection of non-matching decor. We have some tin signs and vintage salt and pepper shakers to throw to the mix. The kitchen has got to be my favorite room to decorate.

The guy and I have decided, since we're both artists, we shall have a wall dedicated to our art... How classy. Not only are we talented creatures, but most of our friends are as well. We've already started pestering them for contributions. *hint hint*

So there it is folks, maybe once this wall is complete I'll post some pictures. Until then I figured I'd avoid another holiday post.



peace

Wednesday

# 13

Vote! Over there, yes, look to your right... Ok now click one, or two or three... or or or just do it.


Ahh the Holidays! Gotta love 'em right. My favorite thing is the no work thing and the shopping. Who doesn't enjoy a few extra days off work, unless you're a Capricorn... or Virgo for that matter... that's for another time. Mix in some vacation time and I practically have the whole month of December off. Score!


And shopping, yes my favorite past time. Is that a past time? Who cares it's fun. The biggest problem I have, besides not having enough money, is passing up all those things I want. So selfish, I know. But I do manage to buy things for others too darnit. One for you, one for me, one for you, three for me, one for you, ooo does that come in pink too?


Another thing I noticed is a crap load of blog giveaways. Maybe it's the holiday season, maybe I've just never noticed them before. Either way, I want to do a giveaway... Ready? Wait for it...



To Enter:

  • Leave a comment, tell me what your favorite thing about the holidays is or un-favorite thing.

  • Follow my blog.

  • Give me a hug.

  • Let me win your giveaway.

  • Point me in the direction of a badass freebie.

  • Bribe me with chocolate...

There's plenty was to enter folks, so get on that... Oh you want to know what I'm giving away do you? It's the most awesome thing anyone could ever give or get. It's truly priceless...





It's my undying love and affection.

Cheers.

Monday

# 12

Black Friday - Cyber Monday... blah blah blah. The names we've given these days sound really umm politically correct. I'm one of those folks who won't be caught dead anywhere on Black Friday other than my house or a Starbucks. Fuck the holiday rush and these crazy mo-fo's who find it necessary to maul each other over sale prices. I did however do a little cybering today. giggle. Only after my boss said:
"Oh yea, it's Cyber Monday... better not buy anything on-line today, they'll be keeping a close eye on us"
No I'm not defiant... oh well... here's the Etsy goods I got:


From Dee at Barefoot Bath and Body, for gift baskets for the ladies...

must.
actually.
give.
these.
away.
From standard, for me and 2 dear friends... maybe. I'm so selfish.
From the Amazing Tina Carroll, for me, my guy and our new apartment... hello wall of art.


From Flapperdoodle, for me, the guy and the apartment... wall of art.

Wednesday

# 11

As Thanksgiving approaches I can't help but get stressed out... I'm anticipating over-eating and obsessing over which fat jeans to wear, rehearsing to be that perfect little angel so the old folks don't have a heart attack from my behavior, not the gravy and planning my escape route... You act like I'm the only one.

And with that I will leave you with some quotes that really bring tears to my eyes and fill my heart with gratitude:

"An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day." -Irv Kupcinet

"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." -Jon Stewart

"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often." -Johnny Carson

And last but not least, the worst Thanksgiving Day Poem... ever:

"Turkey, Turkey"

Turkey, turkey
you're good to eat
Turkey, turkey
I love your meat.
Turkey, turkey
with stuffing.
Turkey, turkey
with gravy.
Turkey, turkey
Thanksgiving!

- Gary R. Hess

Which, with my mind, could put me on Santa's naughty list...

# 10



















I love how most blogs have those great posts like: Wordless Wednesday, Manic Monday, Etc, Etc... I am not that consistent. I did have that one Fucking Funny Shit Friday, but it was only that once.

So all morning I have been trying to come up with a witty little Wednesday post... Oooh Witty Wednesday, I hadn't even thought of that. *ponders*

*done pondering*

So I had thought of maybe: Wacky, Wishful Thinking, Wandering Thoughts, WTF... I could go on and on and pollute the Internet that much more, but I won't. And furthermore I won't even really post anything of substance. Maybe I should have posted this yesterday for Thank God It's Not Monday, Tuesday.

So thanks for tuning in for Witty Wonderfully Wacky... Wait is it Wednesday??

Thursday

# 9

You know what is more amazing than Fridays? Thursdays that are actually Fridays. Yep. Today is my Friday. I'm going for a little weekend trip with the ladies. I am so damned excited and this day is dragging along... Why is it when there's fun plans ahead the mandatory stuff, like work, feels like it takes twice as long.

Ya know I've had a pretty crazy week... Last weekend's Halloween party went over lovely; I went as a pirate wench. I had lots of help with the decorations and they turned out great.

I've been gathering boxes cause I'm moving in less than a month... eek. And I'm out of town for half this month. I hate packing, but I have sworn up and down that I will not just throw everything into boxes and go. I want to sift through it all and only take what I need. I went through my clothes last night because we're doing a clothes swap this weekend. Why do I still find it difficult to get rid of those too small jeans... I guess we'll call it hope. I'm gonna hope my fatass into those jeans.

Also, my boyfriend was in a wreck. He actually hit a drunk driver... well the drunk ran the red light, so it's not my honey's fault. He is perfectly fine too, which is just nuts if you look at his car. He does have a small scratch on his arm but that's it. So lucky.

Well, this killed 5 minutes...

# 8

Oops. I forget I have a blog sometimes. I know all my devoted followers check obsessively for new posts each day, sorry to disappoint.

The day after hump day always leaves me feeling a little worn out, relieved and excited.

I'm worn out from the lack of sleep I've gotten this week. I've laid awake almost night while my mind whores around. From this weekend until the end of the year my calendar is completely full. I don't think I could cram one more thing in if I had too... that sounds dirty, I like it.

I'm relieved that it's almost the weekend. I've been helping plan this Halloween party and I can't wait for it to be over with. Just a few more days. I have in fact changed costume ideas, for the 3rd time, and as of this moment it's up in the air.

I'm mostly excited today; payday is tomorrow and I need groceries. It's sad how excited I get to grocery shop, but when you're fucking Kroger on the regular how could you not be excited.

So there you go, another meaningless post about random shit that doesn't make a difference and only serves to help me pass time.

Friday

# 7

Fuckin Funny Shit Friday:

Talk to God

I realize this may offend some people, but then again I don't really care. My sense of humor really knows no bounds. I am in no shape or form religious. I do believe in something higher, just not any God that this world deems acceptable. I guess I should take my own advice when it comes to appropriate work conversation (no politics, religion, etc) and apply that to my blog... but where's the fun in that.

So my conversation with iGod went a little something like...
Me: for real
God:Existing in reality, eh?
Me: fo sho
God:That
remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Gay sex with Jesus.
That God-guy is a funny mother fucker...

Thursday

# 6

I just love this time of year. It's getting cooler out and the scenery changes. Halloween is a month away and I'm usually that procrastinator, waiting until October 30th to throw some crappy costume together then regret that I even tried. So this year, I'm getting a move on.

I'm going to be a dead prom queen this year. I've already started the hunt for a formal dress. I'm going to thrift stores on a pretty consistent basis and have decided if I haven't found something by the 15th, I will come up with something different.

I've spent a little time over at Martha's site checking out the Halloween decorating ideas and googling the hell out of recipes.
What are some of you favorite Halloween crafts, recipes and costume ideas?

# 5

I'm getting excited about Christmas. I should say a little obsessive really. It's gotten a bit cooler here and that always puts me in the mood. Seeing as money is real tight this year; I've been trying to think of some homemade goodness to give this year.

So far I've decided that the lovely ladies in my life will be getting little spa baskets. They will include homemade bath salts, handmade soap from Dee and lotion or a small candle.

I have found small tubes of lavender hand lotion in the travel section at target, for about a dollar. If I can find some small candles on sale or clearance somewhere I'll add those too. Next I'll be looking for small baskets or containers to put everything in. I'm also on the hunt for small jars or bottles to put the salts in.

Peppermint Bath Salts:
  • 1 cup of Epsom Salt
  • 1 cup of Sea Salt
  • 1/4 cup of baking soda
  • Peppermint and/or Eucalyptus Essential Oils (6 - 12 drops total)
  • Fresh mint or Peppermint Tea
  1. Combine Salts and Soda in bowl or Ziploc bag.
  2. Add Oils, a few drops at a time, mix.
  3. Once you get desired scent, add fresh mint leaves or tea.
  4. Pour into jars, label and enjoy.

Lavender Bath Salts:

Same as above but use Lavender Oil and Dried Lavender or Chamomile Tea.

I think these will make nice little gifts and I might just spring for a Massage Envy Gift Card for my Mom, Aunt and Sisters.

Monday

# 4

Disorganized. That's the story of my life summed up in one word. Sure, there's plenty others, but for now at this time in my life, this is what I am.

I got a new phone last week and somehow my not-so tech savvy self figured out how to send all my contacts to the new phone via bluetooth. Yay me. *pats back* I think I was too busy congratulating myself; I seemed to miss all my calendar events. Who knew I actually relied on a little calendar thingy to remind me what to do. Therefore missing a very important meeting on Sunday... Oh well.

I'm also moving come December. I need to go through my entire place and sell, donate or trash all the crap that moves from place to place with me. Why is it I find it so terribly difficult to get rid of things I don't need. I am seriously that girl with 18 bottles of shampoo, lotions, body wash, etc. that can't even be classified as half full by an optimist.

On top of that, I am also that girl who saves clothes that are 3 times too small. Get that straight, I save them, I don't wear them. I will most likely never wear them. But I do however regret the last time I got rid of those too small clothes. I find myself standing in my closet reminiscing of those one pair of jeans that were so worn in the ass you had to wear a shirt 4 times too big so no one gets a free show. Sure they were falling apart at the seams, but didn't they fit like a glove? (at some point, I'm sure)

I'm just rambling now, so stayed tuned for more meaningless sporadic posts.

Friday

# 3

Gotta love Mercury in Retrograde. I'm holding on tight and focusing on the positives. Yea my cell phone my be acting wonky; dropped calls, randomly shutting off, etc. , but I'm going to hold on tight for the ride. I just kind of laugh when I hear about phones, computers and other electronics going hay wire during this time. I mean really, if that's the worst then I think I can endure it.

However, this retrograde falls under a Venus-Libra something-or-another. Don't get me wrong I only half know what I'm talking about. But Venus is the planet of love and beauty and Libra is the sign of relationships and balance. I read an article the other day that suggest I make a list of all the positive things I love about relationships; any relationships! So I made my list yesterday and I will read it everyday and add to it. By focusing on all the good, it's kind of hard to worry about the bad.

I don't believe that Mercury in Retrograde has to be a bad thing. Mercury is our universe’s lovely little winged messenger. It influences communication, travel and education. I remind myself to laugh with Mercury as conversations go awry, as traffic backs up and when I can't seem to wrap my head around anything. I've learned that getting frustrated only makes it seems less tolerable. So I smile and roll with the punches.

Mercury is my little friend in the sky who enjoys mischief and shenanigans just as much as I do. For those of you who want to know more than my jacked up interpretation, Google it! But maybe you should wait until Oct. 18th, when the affects of wear off; or you may not learn much.

Wednesday

# 2

My new obsession. Maybe that's what I should have titled this blog. Anytime I have a new obsession, I start a new blog. I make a few random or in most cases, obsessive posts, and move right along to the next.

Anyhow, I got a blender the other day, therefore I am obsessed with it.

My first stab at smoothies was a complete failure. Too thick and chunky and it wouldn't blend properly. Feeling like a complete failure I turned to the Internets. I looked up a couple recipes yesterday and proceeded.

Have you noticed on those recipe websites how there's a recipe, then 18 comments of how they altered it. Wow that's a new recipe; write your own. So instead of telling you how I altered it, I'll just tell you what I did, then you can comment about your substitutes. Either way, I can't wait until my lunch break to obsessively buy frozen fruit.

I have no witty name - smoothie:

3/4 cups of 2% milk
1/4 cup non fat vanilla yogurt
1/2 cup rolled oats (yes you read that right.)
1 banana (I prefer frozen and peeled)
6 - 10 frozen whole strawberries
1/3 cup of frozen blueberries
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract
1 sweet n low (or 1-1/2 teaspoons of sugar, or omit completely)

First, I used my nifty little chopper thingy to pulverize the oats. Next, I dumped everything in the blender and pushed the button. Nothing happened. I forgot to plug it in. If you are going to use a blender, you should plug it in, and I recommend using the nifty little lid that goes with it. If you are having trouble with the blender, tossing it across the kitchen will not solve anything. Try adding more milk if the mixture is too thick and refuses to blend perfectly. Also cussing and screaming on top of blending, only pisses off the neighbors.

The thing I love most about this smoothie, is that the banana didn't over power it. It was also pretty sweet, and I've never even entertained the idea of adding oatmeal, much less vanilla to a smoothie.

Until next time,
Happy Blending.

Monday

# 1

I started a 365 project on Flickr almost a year ago. I quit back in March. I was reading some of the tags and entries that I posted the other day. I forgot how in touch I was with my feelings, my head, my heart, etc. I used the tags as my journal and I realize that actually writing the old fashioned way doesn't do it for me. Not only can I hardly make out what I write half the time, there's not spell check.

hmm.
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