# 21

Christmas Eve Eve. Thank god I didn't have any money this year and was done shopping 2 weeks ago. I'm usually one of those crazy bitches running around buying more useless crap for people I only see once a year. Then I'm disappointed when my well thought out, well planned gift, obviously bought from Walgreens and quite possibly torn from a five year old's hands doesn't produce the tears of joy I was expecting.

Christmas used to be fun and I know what happened. First I found out Santa was a big fat lie. Then my greedy ass pretended to believe until I was 11 or 12 so I'd get more presents. Then my parents divorced, score two Christmas'! Wrong, my dad remarried to some gold diggin white trash bar whore and her kids got TV's & CD players. When ended up with fucking mini skirts and coloring books from Family Dollar. No more badass stockings from my mom... Then I moved out on my own and had bills.

Christmas is like sex. I used to shave, shower, brush my teeth, floss and put on clean panties... Now I roll over with morning breath, matted hair and a giant bush.

Okay, not really, but maybe you get the point.