Friday

# 19.5

I finished his stocking last night. I picked up one of these little manikin guys and UNO. Oh and some slippers, which were way to big to fit inside*.

Don't mind me as I use this outlet to kill more time and make this a successfully unproductive day...

Go on, put the 'Ho' in Holiday with these nifty Holiday pick up lines that are sure to be a hit at any company Holiday party. That is assuming that your company is having a Holiday party; I mean after all they did freeze your salary, stop matching your 401k and stopped buying coffee for the office*.

  • Wanna stuff my stocking?
  • How about you slip down my chimney?
  • I'm gonna bring joy to your world*
  • I have a mistletoe belt.
  • I have something for you to unwrap.
  • How about some dark meat?
  • Want to deck my halls?
  • I see you when you're sleeping...
  • Is that a candy cane in your pocket? Oh shit... that's sad.
  • My vagina smells like Fabreze*

* That's what she said
* Why do I still work here?
* and by world, I mean cock.
* Yes, you're right, that has nothing to do with Christmas.

3 comments:

  1. This is hilarious. I wish I had a job so I had an office party to go to so I could use one of these lines. Not to mention a little extra money would be nice. Thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Okay, did I comment and then delete it. I drink when I'm on the internet so maybe I did and then deleted. Or was I inappropriate and then you deleted it. Either way, I want you to know you are funny. i dig funny. Thanks for making me and Mr. Handsome laugh out loud. As parents of 3 sometimes we forget to laugh when it's funny because we think we should be disciplining. You DO NOT need to go to your room! Visit my blog, it's not as funny as yours but it's very real. Today real wasn't funny.

    ReplyDelete

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