# 35

Life. What's the meaning of life. That's not really a question... I don't think. Is it to merely exist or survive? Or is it more? What is the purpose of your life? How did you get here? Why are you here? Boy, I'm full of questions today. I may have a few answers. Yes you lucky eight people who follow me will find out the meaning of life.

I know I exist for one reason. Selfishness. About 26 years ago, two people felt the need to feel extreme euphoria, then the condom broke. So here I sit, having to deal with the fact that my parents at some point had sex. I try to figure out why I am the way I am. Why I have to deal with the consequences of how two people decided I should be raised.

So back to meaning. There's a theory that this supreme being put us here and allowed us to multiply because we're weak and feel loneliness. "I'm lonely... I think I'll stick my dick in her" And so the madness began.

I was watching something, maybe the World's Most Amazing Events or some retardly uninteresting educational show, that goes against everything I was taught. The "amazing events" really got me thinking. There's a purpose for damn near every animal on this planet. Mostly, they serve to feed one another. But some, like Hippos help to irrigate the land. So then what is the purpose of land? Do you see how this gets confusing? Well the land feeds the herbivores and the herbivores feed the carnivores, in some instances the carnivores feed each other. Some are cannibals. So basically every animals purpose is to eat.

So you may ask yourself 2 things: 1. where am I going with all this elementary nonsense and 2. what does this have to do with me. Well, first I'm just trying to show you how smart I am. I can converse with a 6 year old. I know, it's pretty amazing. Second, nothing. Nothing really.

I guess what I don't get is how scientists and biologists and other-ists can stalk animals and figure out their purpose. But when I have a stalker I call the police. Oops, maybe that was a scientist trying to figure out the meaning of my life.

I know the purpose of my life is to be happy. Which still goes back to selfishness. But most people find happiness in material things or other people. Happiness is something I believe is a choice. So if I can choose to be happy and then I don't need you, or food or a car or cute clothes.

Crap. Before I could tell you my theory about life, I just proved it wrong. Right there in those last few sentences. Now I'm even more confused. I'll have to get back to you on the meaning of life.

# 25

The new year has come an gone, or it's still here... Depends on how you see things. For me it's kind of like a birthday except I don't presents... Everything still feels the same and for whatever reason I feel like it shouldn't. New year, no big deal. I feel like I should make some resolutions (have I already touched on this) but I feel like I missed the party. Hell, it's already the 4th.

I have alot going on at work and home and somehow I manage to either obsessively check my email or play Build-A-Lot and never really get anything done. Needless to say, I'm still procrastinating. I'm not taking responsibility for some dumb ass project at work. I could get all ranty here, but I'll pretend it doesn't bother me that much.

So check it out... I'm not gonna let shit rent space in my head. I'm not going to finish anything by it's deadline. I will be late for everything. And thanks to these stupid computer games; I probably won't have a sex life either... no wait, that can't be right...

In other news, I saw Avatar in 3D and it was bad-muthafuckin-ass. I'm kinda glad the IMAX was sold out, just plain old regular 3D made me a little nauseous. Either way, best 11 bucks I ever spent. Don't wait for this one to come out on DVD, seriously, you'll be highly disappointed if you do.

# 24

Dear 2009,

Thanks for being a pretty awesome year. I wasted a majority of you on the Internets and I vow not to treat 2010 with such disrespect. You gave me lots of laughs and gas. You taught me that it is ok to love and be loved. You helped me discover that I rather enjoy cussing and cooking. You showed me how to get out of my comfort zone and how to get more than my big toe wet. You opened my eyes to the beauty of waking up before dawn. You broadened my horizons and opened my legs. You made my family grow. You showed me how to be ok with myself and taught me that it's ok to take 3 shits a day. You also taught me that life is precious and I may as well enjoy being in debt. For all these things and more I thank you and send you away with warm thoughts and welcome 2010 with open arms.

Farewell my dear friend,

RBabe

PS Bloody Poop is not funny.

PPS Tell 2010 that Jenny does not want anymore bloody poop.

# 17

I'm getting super excited about Christmas and super excited about giving!

What to get the Healthy Green Eco-Friendly Nut:

Organic coffee or tea. I love Starbucks and will find any reason to stop by for a latte, oh yea, and a pound of Organic Yukon Blend for my Nut. They also have Organic Chai Tea Concentrate for the non-coffee drinker.

Reusable Produce Bags from Flip & Tumble and while you're picking up a few for them head over to Real Moms Real Views and enter to win an EcoBag Kit just for you!

Or how about this

lovely little recycled Watermelon Coin Purse found at LaAlicia on Etsy.

Happy Shopping!

# 15

The polls are in, your voices have been heard... all 5 of you!

Your favorite thing about the holidays are:

1. No Work (Sounds like my kind of people)
2. Gifts (Giving or getting?... we'll never know)
3. Seeing Family, Shopping/Sales & it looks like we have a Grinch lurking around these parts...

Keep your eyes peeled for another poll coming soon, I know you're bursting at the seams with anticipation...

# 14

I've had way too much time off from work lately... that doesn't make sense, I know. Who doesn't love time off. Anyhow, we got all moved into our new place this past weekend. We had to wade through the boxes for a couple of days, but we've finally made some progress.

Now comes the fun part, Decorating! I have such a mix of things and I'm not quite sure where to begin. Actually, we did start. Our kitchen has been decorated with some vintagesque loveliness. I just got these awesome canisters in the mail yesterday and was more than delighted to add it to the collection of non-matching decor. We have some tin signs and vintage salt and pepper shakers to throw to the mix. The kitchen has got to be my favorite room to decorate.

The guy and I have decided, since we're both artists, we shall have a wall dedicated to our art... How classy. Not only are we talented creatures, but most of our friends are as well. We've already started pestering them for contributions. *hint hint*

So there it is folks, maybe once this wall is complete I'll post some pictures. Until then I figured I'd avoid another holiday post.

♥
peace

# 12

Black Friday - Cyber Monday... blah blah blah. The names we've given these days sound really umm politically correct. I'm one of those folks who won't be caught dead anywhere on Black Friday other than my house or a Starbucks. Fuck the holiday rush and these crazy mo-fo's who find it necessary to maul each other over sale prices. I did however do a little cybering today. giggle. Only after my boss said:

"Oh yea, it's Cyber Monday... better not buy anything on-line today, they'll be keeping a close eye on us"

No I'm not defiant... oh well... here's the Etsy goods I got:

From Dee at Barefoot Bath and Body, for gift baskets for the ladies...

must.

actually.

give.

these.

away.

From standard, for me and 2 dear friends... maybe. I'm so selfish.

From the Amazing Tina Carroll, for me, my guy and our new apartment... hello wall of art.

From Flapperdoodle, for me, the guy and the apartment... wall of art.

# 11

As Thanksgiving approaches I can't help but get stressed out... I'm anticipating over-eating and obsessing over which fat jeans to wear, rehearsing to be that perfect little angel so the old folks don't have a heart attack from my behavior, not the gravy and planning my escape route... You act like I'm the only one.

And with that I will leave you with some quotes that really bring tears to my eyes and fill my heart with gratitude:

"An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day." -Irv Kupcinet

"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." -Jon Stewart

"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often." -Johnny Carson

And last but not least, the worst Thanksgiving Day Poem... ever:

"Turkey, Turkey"

Turkey, turkey
you're good to eat
Turkey, turkey
I love your meat.
Turkey, turkey
with stuffing.
Turkey, turkey
with gravy.
Turkey, turkey
Thanksgiving!

- Gary R. Hess

Which, with my mind, could put me on Santa's naughty list...

# 9

You know what is more amazing than Fridays? Thursdays that are actually Fridays. Yep. Today is my Friday. I'm going for a little weekend trip with the ladies. I am so damned excited and this day is dragging along... Why is it when there's fun plans ahead the mandatory stuff, like work, feels like it takes twice as long.

Ya know I've had a pretty crazy week... Last weekend's Halloween party went over lovely; I went as a pirate wench. I had lots of help with the decorations and they turned out great.

I've been gathering boxes cause I'm moving in less than a month... eek. And I'm out of town for half this month. I hate packing, but I have sworn up and down that I will not just throw everything into boxes and go. I want to sift through it all and only take what I need. I went through my clothes last night because we're doing a clothes swap this weekend. Why do I still find it difficult to get rid of those too small jeans... I guess we'll call it hope. I'm gonna hope my fatass into those jeans.

Also, my boyfriend was in a wreck. He actually hit a drunk driver... well the drunk ran the red light, so it's not my honey's fault. He is perfectly fine too, which is just nuts if you look at his car. He does have a small scratch on his arm but that's it. So lucky.

Well, this killed 5 minutes...