# 30

So I'm obsessed with Natalie Dee... like you can't tell. And maybe I'm a little late getting to the party, but whatev. So so so fucking happy it's Friday. Been a busy week, I know you have all missed my mind-blowing posts, just stay on the edge of your seat... I'm sure to disappoint momentarily.

# 28

Funny Fucking Shit Friday...

If you've seen my blog, or read it you know tact and class are words even super trailer park white trash would not use to describe me... So if you're offended easily... wait, what the hell are you doing here. Go find some Jesus blog to read.

Without further... erm adoouu... uh edeww... you get it, right... Here's some Funny (Fucked Up) Fucking Shit.








Ok, really. Breathe. I had to remind myself to breathe. So many things wrong with this picture. Not only does it look like my BFF but really? It's like from the 80's and how did it get on the internet now? I know if I was her I'd be pissed. Unless this is some sweet ass party trick and she posted this shit. Then amen sister, you are my new hero... no over here, hey I'm over here...

I just love these little guys. I mean they're so cute and mean and perverted and raunchy and just great... *resists urge to post 18 Cyanide & Happiness comics*

Now here's some parenting I can get with...

Hope you have a wonderful fucking Friday...

# 19.5

I finished his stocking last night. I picked up one of these little manikin guys and UNO. Oh and some slippers, which were way to big to fit inside*.

Don't mind me as I use this outlet to kill more time and make this a successfully unproductive day...

Go on, put the 'Ho' in Holiday with these nifty Holiday pick up lines that are sure to be a hit at any company Holiday party. That is assuming that your company is having a Holiday party; I mean after all they did freeze your salary, stop matching your 401k and stopped buying coffee for the office*.

• Wanna stuff my stocking?
• How about you slip down my chimney?
• I'm gonna bring joy to your world*
• I have a mistletoe belt.
• I have something for you to unwrap.
• How about some dark meat?
• Want to deck my halls?
• I see you when you're sleeping...
• Is that a candy cane in your pocket? Oh shit... that's sad.
• My vagina smells like Fabreze*

* That's what she said
* Why do I still work here?
* and by world, I mean cock.
* Yes, you're right, that has nothing to do with Christmas.

#19

It's that time again! Fuckin Funny Shit Friday.
I haven't been nearly offensive or inappropriate enough this week. So Enjoy.


Hey the cute little stick girl with a lop-sided rack read my mind... Fuck Yea!











... Wait those IS Goats?!










This is why I stopped selling Mary Kay...


Not only are the matching outfits over the top, wait wait, do their earrings match too? For the love of Allah... I mean isn't enough that they all have the same hairdresser. Miss "T" looks like she might have shit herself; she's worried because now their getup's don't match. Miss "G" is gonna get it when Miss OCD "I" sees that her G is not straight and her right arm is in the shot. COME ON Miss G, get it together! Oh right, she's a G, she can do that. I'm not even gonna touch the 50 year old Brittney Spears. Not. Gonna. Do. It.



Well kiddos, I figured I'd spare us all another holiday post (don't hold your breathe, I feel a # 19.5 comin on) Enjoy your day, do what want, wear what you want and act like no one's looking.
That is how we become famous on the Internet...

# 7

Fuckin Funny Shit Friday:

Talk to God

I realize this may offend some people, but then again I don't really care. My sense of humor really knows no bounds. I am in no shape or form religious. I do believe in something higher, just not any God that this world deems acceptable. I guess I should take my own advice when it comes to appropriate work conversation (no politics, religion, etc) and apply that to my blog... but where's the fun in that.

So my conversation with iGod went a little something like...

Me: for real
God:Existing in reality, eh?
Me: fo sho
God:That
remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Gay sex with Jesus.

That God-guy is a funny mother fucker...