# 34

Random Extraordinary Things About Me:

• I like pepper jack cheese the most.
• I can curl my tongue.
• I can cross my eyes, wink and raise one eyebrow. We call this flirting.
• If a recipe calls for egg whites, I say fuck this. I love the yolks, what's wrong with yolks?? Fuckin jerks...
• I have nothing fancy to wear on Valentine's Day. I do have a red sweater. I know, SEXXXY.
• I'm going to do another direct deposit advance so I can go shopping. Hey, a girl has got to have priorities. tyvm.

That is all. Now quit looking at me like I haven't been here in ages. for fucks sake.

# 33

I'm a slacker. I have nothing seriously funny to show you today. Why must you always take, take, TAKE! When is it my turn to TAKE?! Huh?! When will you step up to the plate and show me some fucking funny shit?



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I can wait.

# 32

Ok, I'm sure you're tired of hearing about my bodily functions and seeing Natalie Dee comics posted. You probably find yourself wondering if I will ever post anything of substance. You wonder why or how you stumbled upon my blog and didn't run away immediately... or even worse, why are you following me? You my dear blog reader should hang your head in shame.

So get used to my bodily functions, everyone in my real life has... and my erratic unhealthy obsessions to random shit on the internet and beyond. After all you are a little part of that.

Speaking of bodily functions... kidding... Yea, so I decided that I would start working out again. It's been about 4 or 5 months since I've been to the gym. And even then, I went once, saw some hot bitch running her ass off on the treadmill, barely breaking a sweat and I said fuck this shit. This time I'm determined. Ok, so determination is not something I have, but maybe there's something lacking in my character that is forcing me to the gym.

Might it be the jealousy? Maybe I'm seeking the approval of someone else. Either way, I'm not gonna complain, I'm back at the gym. Now I just need to work on this eating right stuff.

# 31

Nothing makes me happier than taking a really big shit.



This has been the first installment of...



Random things about yours truly that you could probably go your entire life with out knowing.

# 30

So I'm obsessed with Natalie Dee... like you can't tell. And maybe I'm a little late getting to the party, but whatev. So so so fucking happy it's Friday. Been a busy week, I know you have all missed my mind-blowing posts, just stay on the edge of your seat... I'm sure to disappoint momentarily.

# 29

I've been spending the better half of the day searching random words on Natalie Dee. Go ahead an give it a whirl, you won't regret it.

# 28

Funny Fucking Shit Friday...

If you've seen my blog, or read it you know tact and class are words even super trailer park white trash would not use to describe me... So if you're offended easily... wait, what the hell are you doing here. Go find some Jesus blog to read.

Without further... erm adoouu... uh edeww... you get it, right... Here's some Funny (Fucked Up) Fucking Shit.








Ok, really. Breathe. I had to remind myself to breathe. So many things wrong with this picture. Not only does it look like my BFF but really? It's like from the 80's and how did it get on the internet now? I know if I was her I'd be pissed. Unless this is some sweet ass party trick and she posted this shit. Then amen sister, you are my new hero... no over here, hey I'm over here...

I just love these little guys. I mean they're so cute and mean and perverted and raunchy and just great... *resists urge to post 18 Cyanide & Happiness comics*

Now here's some parenting I can get with...

Hope you have a wonderful fucking Friday...